….of your aorta, cuticles, and a swivel of your liver.
I’m a pretty patient “human” being. I hardly ever get mad about anything. However, things that really lagkjeoisjtgoisaje me..I freak out about. It’s kinda like having O.C.D.,..and getting agitated when something isn’t right.
One thing I can not stand..well..two things I cannot stand are slow walkers, more so..the people that are walking slow while looking at their damn phone, probably waiting on their wanna-be lover to text them something dirrty, ..but they’re going to keep waiting because no one wants to deal with someone that sits there and walks slow, to check their messages..but first changing their cheesy Rihanna song on their ipod, so that they can set the mood..just in case of the slightest chance that their wanna-be lover does texts them..that way they can have their own song, even though they aren’t a “they,”..yet. There’s always hope.
Two..the slow walkers that take up the whole damn sidewalk. You know..the ones that are in groups, and feel like they have to do a single filed line, horizontally. I mean, there’s no way around them. They know you’re behind them, but they won’t budge. They don’t care. They have you out numbered.
At least I don’t have to sit in Atlanta traffic, anymore, and let my road rage build up..like that one time I whipped out the toy gun.
My cure for this..a brand new game we bring to NYC..BODY BUMPER CARS! Screw your cardio workout, yoga, kickboxing and lamaze classes. Body Bumper Cars is a great stress relieving, body toning, pore closing, skin toughening, adrenaline rushing, exciting..and aphrodisiac exciting(all the body touching) daily activity! It’s become my favorite activity, thus far, in NY! It really teaches them a lesson! And if it doesn’t..that’s where the ‘Cars’ part comes in. ..Yeah..you know where that’s leading.
So, give it a try! Money back..in my bank account, guaranteed! Body Bumper Cars!..Coming to a sidewalk near you!
P.S. Do not try this on the elderly. ..or you’ll go to heaven.
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Cab Calloway “Minnie The Moocher”